FOOTBALL IS BETTR THAN SEX….

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By Herrold Lamola

Greatest pleasures in life never grow old…

It was mid-year in 2011- just after the maiden Carling Cup clash between the Soweto giants, Orlando Pirates and Kaizer Chiefs, when Benni McCarthy nearly sent me into the psychiatric hospital with his comments that required age restriction and parental guidance.

In his interview with Soccer Laduma- Cape Town City coach alluded that “Playing a derby is better than sex.” Surely sitting in the dugout is also better than sex. McCarthy was emotionally involved
in the game for his first derby as a coach. McCarthy has one derby under his belt as a coach- following his 2-0 victory over Ajax Cape Town earlier this season. I do not share Benni’s sentiments- hence I nearly made an appointment with a psychiatric psychologist after reading his interview. You can imagine what this has done to my former self- a guy who has just stumbled past his teenage years. Benni made these comments prior to signing a contract with Pirates- where he has spent two seasons and won everything domestically. Surely McCarthy has enjoyed the Soweto derbies on the pitch more than former- Barcelona’s midfield maestro, Mario Busquets, do between the sheets.

Busquets is the one who shares McCarhy’s sentiments. Busquets prefers football over doing the deed with his partner. “In football, happiness lasts three or four days. Sex, on the other hand, can last just one minute.” These two great athletes have an uncommon thing in common. I have engaged in very intense and fierce debates with my friends over this ‘sex and football’ thing. It is more like arguing whether the world is round or flat.

If you have never been to a football match then you have never witnessed what Benni and Mario have experienced. I have attended more than one Soweto derby- I can assure that being there- you’ll forget a little about the forbidden fruits. Surely Mario knows how sweet it is to beat Real Madrid in the famous El Classico. The great Pele dubbed football- the beautiful game for a reason. Like any relationship- football is beautiful when everything goes well. Like sex, football makes grown men cry. Pitso Mosimane has failed to hold the waters when Orlando Pirates was demolishing his Mamelodi Sundows side (3-0 defeat 2014\15 season). Mosimane cried in full view of the 35 000 spectators at Loftus Versfield.

It is not everyone who is going to feel the better side of football unless one believes so. When Jesus saw the two blind men on the side of the road- He dared them- to become what they believed. Ten bible chapters and thirteen versus talk about ‘become what you believe’. To me, football and sex are the flip sides of the same coin.

Beautiful things in life are unseen. That’s why we close our eyes when we pray.



@Lamola_Herold


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